close

Introspection: Lessons learned from 10 days of Vipassana meditation

6 min read

Peters Township resident Asawari Jadhav recently attended a 10-day Vipassana meditation course at Dhamma Delaware in Claymont, Del. She shares her experiences in pursuing self-transformation through self-observation as taught by the Shri Goenka (1924-2013), who was the foremost lay teacher of the Buddhist tradition of Vipassana:

Over the last few years, I have heard the word “Vipassana” from many believers in my family.

The thought of maintaining noble silence for 10 days, meditating close to 10 hours each day, disconnecting from a device that is almost embedded in my palm and not being able to run my family seemed next to impossible. I had recently tried to question the rat race I was running. I was slowly observing the agitation and anger, an overwhelmed mind and an impulsive reaction to a situation over which I had no control.

I finally did end up signing for a 10-day course, or 11, to be precise, as the first day is considered Day Zero and you can leave on Day Eleven. The experience at Dhamma Delaware is more than a course/workshop, as students are not allowed to read, write, listen, connect, exercise or take part in any form of entertainment or physical indulgence. Women and men are segregated. You share a room with other colleagues and are allowed only fruit past 11 a.m. lunch.

Once I signed up, I realized what I was in for and reality had begun to sink in. The thought of getting up at 4 in the morning and being totally disconnected was starting to find every excuse to not join! Fortunately, my earlier wise decision to stick it out for 11 days prevailed over the strong urge to quit.

Here is a brief summary of the schedule at Dhamma Delaware:

• Wakeup call at 4 a.m., with a one-hour break for breakfast between meditation sessions

• Lunch break and rest for two hours, then another four-hour meditation session

• Tea break at 5 p.m. for one hour, with the last session ending in a discourse by Shri Goenka

You retire by 9:30 p.m. each day. There are plenty of breaks between meditation sessions.

My first day was pretty tolerable, though I found myself dozing off from being in a quiet, dark room with long hours of sitting.

By the end of the second day, the pain had started to sink in, making me very uncomfortable, and even the stretching and walks were beginning to be ineffective. My mind was bouncing like a spring. Before I could realize it, I was designing fancy, comfortable meditation chairs and redoing the wallpaper and window treatments in the Vipassana center.

On the third day, I was starting to lose it. The obsessive-compulsive disorder in me had started to organize my memories into stacks where I could put them together. I was kind of spring-cleaning the rooms in my brain. Every time I needed a break from cleaning, I would start to pay attention to my breathing . I had questioned the credibility of the source of my problems and almost learned a new way of looking at things.

By the fourth day, which is when the real Vipassana starts, I had already started to adjust and enjoy my own company, chewing food so slowly that I could almost count my bites. I had started to observe the birds outside and appreciate the natural surroundings!

By Day Five, I got into a pattern of changing cushions and positions where I did not get into a torturous physical situation. My mind was craving for intellectual stimulation, even though cravings and aversions were two things that I was training my mind not to be inclined toward.

During my breaks, I had counted the mugs in the café, read every instruction in the center and estimated the age of the trees! I thought a lot about my family, and by the end of the Day Five, I was convinced that my husband had forgotten to pick up my 13-year-old from a camp and my 17-year-old had forgotten his passport for a trip abroad, and panic started to set in. I had created a situation where I really needed to get out of it, but the discourse in the evening revealed that it was normal to have thoughts of quitting.

Day Six and onward got progressively better. I was beginning to feel grounded and calmer, felt less affected by past heartaches, and I had almost made peace with my worst enemies. When I felt I could not meditate any longer I daydreamed of all the things that I had to look forward to. Well, I was not following the rules of meditation, but I did not want to make myself frustrated and agitated.

Day Ten seemed still a long way to go, but the bittersweet feeling had started to set in. I had started to accept what was served, and even though the quality of the food was beyond expectations, I had tried things that I would never have attempted before. I felt lighter inside. I had never measured the weight of the ego I had carried all along.

Before breaking the noble silence on the tenth day, I had started to wonder if my own voice would startle me. I was at peace with my own thoughts. However, I was also curious to verbally connect with the 15 other women who had shared their energies with me in the meditation room, women from different walks of life, diverse not only in nationalities but also in age and cultures!

It has been only a few days since left, and I’m certain I will continue to observe the change from this experience. Here is a summary that I would love to share:

Vipassana is not a meditation retreat. It is a process by which you strengthen your mind and increase awareness and practice equanimity. The technique to do this is to observe your breath and bodily sensations without developing a craving or aversion to them. It is simple and difficult at the same time.

The main focus is “Change is the only constant thing in life.” Every misery arises from the fact that we, as humans, are constantly reacting to something that is inevitably going to change.

It is almost foolish to expect a change from others, so do not expect to drag everybody you are not able to deal with to Vipassana. A ten-day course can set the direction, but do not expect to come out with an aura around your head.

The world will not have fallen apart when you are not paying attention to it. I have come to face the reality that things still move on when I am not in control.

Peace and happiness is a state of mind. The 10 most physically difficult days of my life beat the most exotic locations I past visited. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone or think outside of the box, and not follow anyone’s opinion about things in life!

If you are ready for an introspection, make an impression, yourself.

CUSTOMER LOGIN

If you have an account and are registered for online access, sign in with your email address and password below.

NEW CUSTOMERS/UNREGISTERED ACCOUNTS

Never been a subscriber and want to subscribe, click the Subscribe button below.

Starting at $/week.

Subscribe Today