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‘So much better now’: Couple find fulfillment with five adopted children

By Harry Funk staff Writer hfunk@thealmanac.Net 4 min read
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Amid the neighborhood noise generated on many an afternoon – from lawn tractors to log splitters, power saws to pressure washers – rises the eminently preferable sound of youngsters’ voices.

Sure, along with the laughter comes plenty of crying and hollering, plus the occasional stern words from the adults on the scene. But as the parents of five adopted children, Paul and Tracy Tencer of Upper St. Clair wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’ve said all along, I never realized how much I needed kids until I actually had them,” Paul said. “I was fine with just us two. We had fun. We had a good life going. But it’s so much better now.”

On any given day, the Tencer home bustles with activity. Along with making sure everyone gets to and from school is preparing for the likes of sporting events, cheerleading practice, Brownies and dance and music lessons.

“It’s a lot of craziness. It’s chaotic, very chaotic,” Tracy said. “But we call it family.”

For their first 10 years of marriage, the Tencers attempted to have children of their own. While living in Akron, Ohio, they decided to look into fostering and started training with an organization called Caring for Kids Inc.

In 2009, they moved to California, where Paul was born and raised, and attended California University of Pennsylvania, as did Tracy. With the help of friend Christie Cross – family services supervisor for the Try-Again Homes Program of Community Action Southwest, now Blueprints, in Washington – the Tencers became qualified for foster parenting.

Shortly afterward, they temporarily welcomed three young girls, a 3-year-old and twins, 1½, into their home.

“They moved on. They reunified with family,” Tracy said about their three-week stay. “And the very next day, we got a call for Jack.”

The call came from longtime foster parents Gregory and Anne Wagner – their son, Tim, is Upper St. Clair High School’s principal – who were caring for a 20-month-old boy and knew the Tencers were interested in such an arrangement.

Jack, now 11, eventually became Paul and Tracy’s first son by adoption. He has been followed by Colten, Jacob, Caitlyn and Jocelyn, with the two girls nicknamed Caity and Josie, respectively.

“Once we had Jack, we knew that we were open to having more children come into the house,” Paul said.

In fact, the Tencers ended up moving into a larger house as the number of sons and daughters grew.

“But we love large families. He’s the baby out of eight kids,” Tracy said about Paul, and she is the oldest of six. “So we’re kind of used to it. We’re kind of used to the chaos. It keeps us young. And moving.”

All five of the Tencer children attend Upper St. Clair schools, from Jack at Boyce Middle to Josie in the preschool program at the high school. The educational component is the primary reason Paul and Tracy decided to relocate to the township.

“We wanted to give the kids their best shot,” Paul said.

Their life stories before adoption tend not to be the prettiest.

“When Jacob came to us, he was actually paralyzed on one side. He was in a bad car accident. That’s how he came into care,” Tracy said. “He’s doing well. He’s getting all the therapies he needs, and the school district works wonderfully.”

As for Colten:

“The caseworker went and picked him up in jail, actually, because his mom was incarcerated,” Paul reported. “Brought him to us with a diaper on, and that was it. That was his belongings.”

He was five months old at the time.

“We were actually camping when we got the phone call, and we were on our way home: ‘We’ll be there in 45 minutes with a baby boy,'” Paul said.

Making such plans on short notice hasn’t bee unusual for the Tencers.

“Whatever happens, happens. Right?” Tracy said. “‘God’s plan,’ is what we say.”

While she and Paul recognize they have provided their children with improved situations, they tend to see everything a bit differently.

“Everybody says, ‘Oh, wow. You saved them. The kids should be thankful for you.’ No, we’re thankful for them,” Tracy said.

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