Feb 11, 2024 By Jon Andreassi 4 min read

On the 17th day of July 1993, on the 17th floor of the Westin William Penn Hotel, Jamie Benjamin and Larry Gesoff told each other, “I do.”

Far from high school sweethearts, the two were 50 when they got married, and are still together more than 30 years later. They currently live at South Hills Square Retirement Resort in Castle Shannon.

“This was a mature, smart decision. It was not only exciting and loving, but it was intelligent,” Benjamin said. “I knew it was going to be good, and it has gotten better and better through life.”

Benjamin and Gesoff were both divorcees, and clear headed about what they wanted, and didn’t want, in a relationship. Gesoff described themselves as deeply grateful to be together.

“I had two miserable marriages, and I wanted a real wife,” Gesoff said. “It was like coming home. Comfort, and it was just right. So we’re very grateful for that.”

Gesoff was originally from Easton, but had moved to Pittsburgh, where Benjamin is from, for work. Gesoff is a retired administrative law judge for the Pennsylvania Public Utility Commission (PUC), while Benjamin worked as an addiction counselor and had a private practice.

They ended up meeting at an Insight Seminar in Pittsburgh. Insight Seminars are large group sessions with a focus on personal growth. When the participants were split into smaller groups, Benjamin and Gesoff were put in the same group.

At the time, Benjamin had been divorced for a dozen years. Gesoff was still in his second marriage, which, by his description, was “failing.”

“I was always interested in what Jamie had to say, because she was very perceptive … She was someone I admired greatly, but of course I wasn’t going to act on anything while I was still married. Even though my marriage was crumbling, it didn’t matter. I was still going to be loyal to that,” Gesoff said.

Benjamin had a 17-year marriage and two children with her first husband. They had moved to the Dominican Republic, but Benjamin said she left due to infidelity.

“We have our children. I learned Spanish, and we built a house from the ground up. We did all the labor. So we had a good time, but he ended up running around with other women,” Benjamin said. “I wasn’t going to stay for that, in the Dominican Republic. So I left.”

Benjamin said she prayed, and wrote down all the qualities she was looking for in a partner.

“It’s kind of interesting to be single in the middle of your life, as well. It’s not a terrible time, but you get to learn what it’s like to be alone and single. Then you really have time to say, ‘What do I want next?'” Benjamin said.

She found the person she was looking for in Gesoff, but respected the fact that he was still married. Benjamin also admired the effort Gesoff was making toward trying to fix his marriage.

“He never invited me out or drove me home or anything until he was divorced. I thought that was a big plus. Of course, it was the only right thing,” Benjamin said.

After Gesoff’s divorce, the two decided to get together.

“Jamie and I decided, ‘Well, maybe we can make a relationship.’ So we would give it four seasons, her idea, at the end of which, we were married. When we were 50,” Gesoff said.

Benjamin had a 15-year-old daughter living at home and a 19-year-old son. Gesoff did not have any children of his own. Like relationships, he also had negative experiences with stepparents, which shaped how he bonded with his wife’s children.

“My mother died when I was quite young, when I was 15. My father remarried twice. Both stepmothers could not stand me. They were very nasty. They let me know they didn’t want me around, and I learned what kind of stepparent not to be,” Gesoff said. “I had a good lesson from some bad experiences.”

Today Benjamin’s children are adults, about the same age she and Gesoff were when they got married. They spent a lot of time in their 30 years of marriage traveling. In their 80s, Gesoff says they have settled into a comfortable routine.

“We both have a wonderful ability to do nothing. We’re slow,” Benjamin said. “We sit well. We read well. Larry does every New York Times crossword puzzle.”

Benjamin and Gesoff say since their marriage 30 years ago, their relationship improves with each passing day.

“I told the person who married us when she interviewed us that I wanted to see and be seen,” Gesoff said. “And that was Jamie. I could see her and she saw me.”